"BLUE" JIMMY: LOWDOWN BLUESMAN & AFICIANADO OF ALL HARD MUSIC
BLIND DOG OZZY: NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA
"BLUE" JIMMY: I'm starting this blog because someone dared me to. And when someone dares me to do something, look the f*** out! Although on reflection, if someone dared me to do a journalistic tour of war torn Iraq, I might have just done this blog.
BD OZZY: Wha-?
"BLUE" JIMMY: What awakened us from our ancient slumber was the appearance of The Mighty Van Halen on the radio and the Summer Concert Tour. And when I say Van Halen, I mean with big-mouthed, obnoxious party host Diamond Dave Roth on vocals.
BD OZZY: The last time I saw Van Halen with Dave, I was lying on my side on a dirty blanket with heat exhaustion at the US Festival in '83 while you were wetting girl's hoo hoos with a squirt bottle.
"BLUE" JIMMY: And I almost took a dump in my shorts waiting for the port-o-john during Edward's guitar solo.
BD OZZY: Aye, Guey!
"BLUE"JIMMY: I don't care what any critic says, the new Van Halen album kicks ass! "A Different Kind of Truth" is the metal album I always wanted Van Halen to make. "Chinatown" sounds like Accept rampaging through a trailer park meth lab while "Bullethead" evokes Motorhead in a hungover bad mood as "Honeybabysweetiedoll" sends exotic shivers up your spine like something lifted off The Scorpions "Animal Magnetism" lp.
BD OZZY: And the lyrics are typical Dave meandering through existential philosophy, zen koans, beat poetry and juke joint jive. "When was the last time you did something for the first time?"
"BLUE" JIMMY: Dude!
BD OZZY: And how about the show at Staples Center, Los Angeles June 9, 2012?
"BLUE" JIMMY: Don't start me talking brother! The critics hated it and I loved it! Diamond Dave talking like a used porn salesman, Edward splattering notes all over the place, Alex with his muy picoso solo and sonny boy Wolfgang playing like Jack Bruce and Tim Bogert having a bass war!
BD OZZY: All the old favorites with a handful of new tunes thrown in.
"BLUE" JIMMY: What more do you want?
BD OZZY : Free Beer!
"BLUE" JIMMY: "I Have a Dream!"
"BLUE" JIMMY: SAKE'S ALIVE!!!
BD OZZY: WOW! WOW!
